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There
is a certain state of affairs in society outside the family. Do the
individuals within the family unit also have identical fundamental
natural rights, the difference only lying in acquired rights? There is a
lot of difference between a family, which consists of a wife and
husband, the father and mother, and sons and daughters, the brothers and
sisters, and society outside the family, as regards fundamental rights,
and the law of nature has set up family rights in a special pattern.
Here there are two different opinions. One view is that the
fact of being a wife or a husband, a father or a child, a mother or a
child, like all other social relationships and like the cooperation
between individuals in public or state institutions, is not a reason in
itself for some persons to have automatically a special status. Only
acquired privileges can be a reason for one of them, for example, to be
the head and the other a subordinate, one to be obeyed and others to
obey him, one to get more monthly pay and the other less. If a person
were a wife, or a husband, or a father, or a mother, or a son, or a
daughter, this would not be in itself a reason for him to have a special
status. Only acquired privileges can determine their position in
relation to each other.
The idea of the identicalness of the rights of men and women
within the family, to which they have wrongly given the name of equality
of rights, is based upon this very opinion. According to this idea, a
man and a woman with similar talents and needs who have an understanding
of similar rights to which they are temperamentally rights should be
based upon equality, identicalness and uniformity.
As opposed to this, the other view is that their basic
natural rights are also different. To be a husband in itself, that is,
the fact of being a husband, imposes certain obligations and signifies
certain rights, and to be a wife in itself imposes certain obligations
and implies certain rights, and likewise in the case of being a father,
or a mother, or a son, or a daughter. Anyhow, according to this view,
the family is different from all social partnerships and associations.
The unidenticalness of the rights of men and women, which Islam
endorses, is based upon this principle.
Now, which of the two above opinions is valid, and in what
way can we understand which of the two is correct? If we refer to the
natural aptitudes and requirements of men and women, namely to the
natural capabilities with which the law of creation has endowed every
man and woman, it is possible to determine the right course of action.
If some contemplation were spent on the issue under question,
it will become clear that the family life of human being is quite
natural, that is, man is by nature created domestic. Suppose that we
doubt whether the social life of man is natural; even then we cannot
doubt whether his domesticity is natural or not. Many animals, for
example, have a kind of "married" life, like pigeons or
certain insects which live in pairs, although they do not, by nature,
have much social life, indeed, they may have none at all.
The question of family life is different from that of social
life. Among human beings and among some animals there is a natural
tendency towards a family life, establishing a home and having children,
and this is according to a purposeful plan of nature. History does not
give any evidence for the theory that man was at any time without a
family life. In other words, neither did man and woman ever live
separated from each other, nor did sexual relations between individuals
take a communal or public form. The life of wild tribes in the present
age, which is considered to be a specimen of the life of primitive man,
is also not like that. The life of primitive man, whether matriarchal or
patriarchal, did take the form of family life.
Since
human life becomes perfect by the mutual and complementary cooperation's
of man and woman, it is suitable to take a look into the differences
existing between the two sexes; in the light of profound medical,
psychological and social studies, more and multifarious differences
between women and men have been discovered. These could not have been
discovered by any means in the ancient world.
Reciprocal
Differences
Physique
Man, normally, is of a larger frame and woman has a smaller
body; man is taller and woman is shorter; man is more coarse and woman
is more delicate; man has a stronger voice and is harsh in his tone,
while woman is more soft-speaking and more melodious in her voice; the
development of a woman's body takes place sooner than the development of
a man's body to the extent that it is universally said that the fetus of
a girl develops sooner than that of a boy. The muscular development and
strength of a man's body is greater than that of a woman. A woman's
power of resistance to many diseases is greater than a man's. Woman
reaches the age of puberty earlier than man, and also becomes
unproductive sooner as regards the reproductive powers.
A girl starts speaking earlier than a boy. The normal brain
of a man is larger than the normal brain of a woman, but with attention
to the proportional size of their bodies, the brain of a woman is larger
than that of a man. The lungs of a man have the capacity to inhale more
air than the lungs of a woman. A woman's heartbeat is quicker than a
man's.
Psychology
Man has a greater preference for physical exercise, hunting,
tasks involving movement, than a woman. The sentiments of man are
challenging and war-like, while the sentiments of woman are peaceable
and convivial. Man is more aggressive and quarrelsome and woman is more
quiet and more calm. A woman refrains from taking drastic action, both
with regard to others and with regard to herself, and this is the reason
for the smaller number of suicides in women than in men. In a mood for
suicide, man will take a hastier course in comparison with woman. Men
will use a gun, hang themselves, shoot themselves, or jump from the top
of a lofty building, while women tend to use sleeping pills, poison, and
so forth in such a crisis.
Union
Stronger than Passion
The law of creation has constituted and built man and woman
according to such a pattern that they are attached to and seek each
other, but not in the way in which they are attracted to other things.
The interest that a human being has in other things arise from his
self-interest, in other words, a human being wants things for himself.
He sees them as a means: he wants to sacrifice them for himself and his
comforts. But the attachment of a husband and a wife is in such a way
that each of them wishes the well-being and comfort of the other, and is
happy in forbearance and self-denial for the sake of the other. As a
matter of fact, the union which constitutes the basis of unity of the
husband and the wife is greater than passion. It is the same thing which
the holy Qur'an mentions with the name of "mawaddah" (love)
and "rahmah" (mercy), as in verse 21 of Chapter 30: "And
of His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, spouses that you
might repose in them, and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely
in that are signs for a people who consider."
It is strange that some people cannot distinguish between
'passion' and 'affection'. They do contemplate that besides selfishness
and the desire to exploit, there are other interests which are innate
and natural. These interests do not have their roots in self-interest.
The source of such attachments is exactly the reverse of what they
think. These relations have their source in self-denial, forbearance and
a preference of discomfort for oneself so as to ensure the comfort of
the other. These are the relationships which reveal the humanity of
human beings. Indeed, some of these sentiments are observed, as far as
the couple and their offspring are concerned, even in animals.
A very wise plan which is employed in the context of creation
to keep a balance in the relation of men and women and to keep them
united is that man should acknowledge the right of the woman in the
matter of financial independence and support. There are three points
here in order to make women sure of their financial independence.
Firstly, on the occasion of marriage, man should pay something of value
to the woman as a 'dower' (mahr). Moreover, he is responsible, during the
whole period of marriage, for the maintenance and upkeep (nafaqah) of his
wife and children as well as the rights of keeping the fruits of the
labour and sharing inheritance.
One thousand and four hundred years ago, Islam stated: To the
men a share from what they have earned, and to the woman a share from
what they have earned.(4/32) In this verse the Qur'an considers men to
have a right to the fruits of their labour and efforts. In exactly the
same way it considers women to have a right to the fruits of their
labour and efforts. In another verse the Qur'an ordained: To the men a
share of what parents and kinsmen leave, and to the women a share of
what parents and kinsmen leave. (4/7)
It means that for men there is a share in the wealth which
their parents or relatives leave behind at death, and for women there is
a share in what their parents and kindred leave behind on their death.
Also, the holy Qur'an with unrivalled fineness and sensitivity, says:
And give the woman their dowers a gift spontaneous (4/4)
That is, the women's dowers which belongs to themselves (and
not to their fathers or brothers) and are gifts and presents from you to
them are to be given to them. The dower is one piece of evidence which
leads to the conclusion that woman and man are created with different
aptitudes, and that the law of creation has bestowed upon them different
attributes, according to their natural and innate rights.
Islam has always observed the rule that man is a symbol of
humility and need, and woman a symbol of needlessness. Islam recognizes
man as a purchaser and woman as the owner of necessary goods. In the
view of Islam, when the married couple lives together, it is the man who
should consider himself the beneficiary and should bear the family
expenses. The man and the woman should both forget that in the matter of
love two different roles are assigned to them. The union will be stable,
firm and harmonious only when the man and the woman behave within their
natural roles.
Another reason why the maintenance is obligatory on the
husband is that the pain, suffering and loss of energy involved in the
birth of the next generation is left by an act of nature to be supported
by the woman. Man's natural function in this connection is only an act
of pleasure and nothing more. It is the woman who is incommoded by
menstruation who undergoes the burden of the period of pregnancy and the
indispositions peculiar to it; it is she who bears the hardships of
childbirth and the resultant dangers; it is she who nurses and takes
care of the child...
God has placed in the wife the source of the husband's
comfort and the solace of his spirit; as expressed by qur'an: And made
of him his spouse that he might rest in her. (7/189)
Woman is created in need of man in the material and financial
aspects of life, and, likewise, man needs woman on the spiritual side.
Without dependence upon man, woman cannot defray the expenses of her
material requirements which are many times those of man. Due to this
Islam has specified the woman's legal spouse as the only centre of her
independence. If woman wished to live as she desired but not to depend
exclusively on her legal husband, she would have to depend upon other
men. This is unfortunately the case. Examples are easily found and the
number is on the increase...
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