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When I was just six years old, my mother passed away. You
might say what a strange way to begin a talk about the
importance of family..., stating that a parent was taken
away at such an early age for both son and mother.
A unique opening, perhaps! But, I could find no better
example to emphasize the strength, resilience, protection
and hope that family can provide, especially in the harshest
of times. Devastated by this grievous loss, I was comforted
and restored by the closeness of my family. You know it is
very easy to overlook the importance of family when things
are going well. Yet, when the well overflows and the flood
approaches, the lifeline provided by family often proves the
difference between being rescued and being swept away by the
societal rip-tides that surge to attack us and our loved
ones.
Although I lost my mother, my father, my two brothers, my
sister, a wonderful grandmother, my step-mother and a bevy
of loving aunts, uncles and other relatives filled the void.
My family was expansive not only in numbers but also in
terms of the roles played by the older generation. They
bestowed on me, my brothers and my sister, the warmth of
love, the guiding firmness of discipline and the gentle hand
of protection. They were wonderful role models. I owe much
to them. And with all that I have experienced, with all the
honors I have received, the greatest honor is the
opportunity to wake up in the morning and try to emulate
them. I have not reached their level but I keep trying.
I am reminded of a quote from my older brother Alex that was
carried in the March 15 edition of People magazine:
“When you start talking about family, lineage and ancestry,
you are talking about every person on earth.”
I was never one to gratuitously dispute my brother,
particularly when he was right. When you talk of family, you
really are speaking about the love of humanity. Alex loved
people and loved his family, for it is nigh difficult to
experience one form of love without knowing the other. Alex
wrote “Roots” not in longing for familial connections, but
to affirm them. I dare say Roots would not have been written
but for the importance of family that we learned in
childhood. Roots was not so much a personal discovery for
Alex but a public celebration of the private family he
loved.
One of the important lessons from Roots, is the realization
that a family, itself comprised of living beings, is also
alive. It can be sick or well. It can flourish or wither and
die; but like all living things, it instinctively fights to
exist and thrive.
Another important lesson is that the family serves as portal
to the past and nexus to the future. Every family represents
yesterday’s hope as well as tomorrow’s memories.
In defiance of the common limits of place and time, the
family is the bridge by which prior generations’ dreams and
strivings are bestowed on kith and kin still unborn. Viewed
in its proper context, history is but the cumulative
behavior of all our antecedents. It is the work they have
performed to turn the shapeless stone of life into something
purposeful. Yet, for all that our forebears have done, the
work remains unfinished. We must lend greater definition and
form to that partially sculpted stone so that we can help
guide those following us just as we have been helped.
Much like protons, neutrons and other sub-atomic particles
constitute the building blocks of our physical world, the
family is the cornerstone for both our social existence and
individual development. It has been said it takes a village
to raise a child, but I tell you it takes strong families to
make a true village.
We all must understand that the family is the initial
“center of learning” attended by everyone of us. The
question is not whether we first learn in the context of the
family but what do we learn. That formative experience can
be either for the good or the bad. If for the good, the
individual, his community and nation benefit. However, if
instruction is negative or toxic, not only that individual
but society also suffers. Too many of our children have
suffered too much. We must not allow that to continue. The
welfare of all of us is at stake.
I am but a single person but today I stand before you in
many capacities, father, son, lawyer, and an Ambassador of
the ‘United States. Yet, from these different perspectives,
I see one thing clearly. In order for an individual, his
community and nation to prosper, the lessons that he must
learn are those that teach civility, respect, enlightenment,
justice and yes, love. Not the mushy, superficial love which
is the stuff of cinema fancy, but the selfless, sacrificial
love that enables a person to place service to others above
gratification of self.
In addition to the education it provides, the family also
represents a person’s first experience with government and
social interaction. Parents who exemplify responsible,
caring leadership generally produce children who are
conscientious citizens. Parental leadership is every bit as
important to the development of a child as was the
leadership of the founding fathers in the establishment of
the United States. These national leaders are well known
heroes, but their anonymity makes these household leaders no
less heroic. Parents who teach their children constructive
interaction with others present to society children gifted
in the virtues of principled compromise, sacrifice, civility
and tolerance... the tools necessary to foster democracy,
social stability and advance the common welfare. These are
the great positions of a vibrant familial mosaic.
Unfortunately, many aspects of modernity militate against
family life. Sometimes modern life seems a pace too fast.
There is too much work and too many bills, but never enough
time to think. There are too many shopping malls,
televisions and video games but precious little time spent
understanding one another. Too many families are strangers
who happen to live under one roof. Technology has been a
friend to man, but not without placing some unintended
pressures on us. We must be cognizant of these inimical
pressures and diminish them where possible.
As we embrace the, future, we must be careful not to lose
those traditions which have enriched us. A society advances
not at all if its gains are mirrored by losses of equal
import. That is simply change without improvement.
I have been my country’s Ambassador to The Gambia for over
one year. The Gambia, with an annual capita income of $360
for its 1.2 million people, is considered one of the world’s
lesser developed states. Despite its relative lack of
economic development, Gambia shows aspects of social
development that more affluent nations should examine and
emulate.
Few, if any, Gambians go to sleep at night without food or
without having any social interaction during the day. I am
told that when dinner is prepared in the compound, enough is
cooked for relatives or friends who may be less fortunate.
Equally as important, people have time to share with their
children, their elders and neighbors.
While countries like The Gambia must strive for economic
development through greater trade and investment with more
developed nations, we must be careful to recognize and learn
the lessons that other societies can provide us. We must
understand that the richness of family life is not
determined by material wealth alone. In fact, a one
dimensional concentration on material accumulation may be as
detrimental to the family as abject poverty.
In concluding, I restate my pleasure to be attending this
conference with you. There is much richness of spirit and a
wealth of commitment here. Together, we not only represent
families from many nations, but also the family of nations.
As such, we can literally change this planet.
Thus, I leave you with this charge:
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It is important that we take care of elder family members
and nurture our neighbor’s children;
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For the parents: make sure your children listen and learn;
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For the churches and faith-based organizations: don’t be
reticent to improve the spiritual lives of the family and
its members;
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For the schools: don’t just stimulate the intellect, but
also water and nurture our children’s civic mindedness;
and
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For us all: Let’s fight the scourges of violence,
substance abuse, hopelessness, prejudice, and poverty all
of which tear at the fabric of family and society. Taking
these steps means vision, commitment and sacrifice.
Actions not words are the order of the day. With that, let
me stop talking so that action can begin!
Again, I salute you and the family of man!
THANK YOU! |
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