Jean Garton, Litt.D.

In a classroom of six—year olds, the teacher was discussing a picture of a family. One of the children featured had a different hair color than did the other family members. A little girl in the class said maybe that was because the boy had been adopted. "I know all about adoptions," she said, "because I was adopted." "What does that mean if you’re adopted?" asked a classmate. "It means," said the little girl, "that you grew in your mommy’s heart instead of her tummy."

Adoption may not be a new reproductive technology, but it is a tried and true family—building option. Adoption, all in all, has served women, children and society well. It stems the tide of poverty and misery that can flow from illegitimate births; it places children into more stable family structures than they might have with biological or foster parents and it allows childless couples to create families. As one professional noted, "There are no unwanted children, only unfound parents."[1]

In the United States today there are two million couples seeking to adopt. Unfortunately, there are only 30,000 children available for placement each year. Such numbers result from two factors. First, the number of infertile couples in the U.S. exceeds one million, and even recent advances in reproductive technology can only help one in five. Secondly, America’s annual abortion rate of 1.3 million drastically reduces the number of children available for adoption. The desperation of childless couples is often evident in ads which appear daily in newspapers across the country. The following are actual placements:[2]

HELP! Our dream is of a small voice calling mommy and daddy. We are a warm, compassionate, financially secure and loving couple. Call us at ________________.

HUGS, KISSES & DREAMS await your newborn. Your child will be part of a warm, tender and happy home. We are a loving and happily married couple who love sports and enjoy travel. Call Arlene and Jim at _________________.

INFANT ADOPTION! We are two loving people waiting to love a third. We are dreaming of 2 a.m. feedings and buggy rides through the park. Your expenses paid. Call Sally and Jeff at _________________.

Americans have increasingly been turning to other countries for children, with the largest numbers coming from Asia, in particu-lar Korea, Vietnam and China. The obvious difference in appearance that results from trans-racial adoption was reflected in a true story told by the mother of two young sons. One day when they were in a store, a stranger asked if the boys were friends rather than brothers, noting that they didn’t look at all alike. The child "of color" said, "That’s because I’m adopted. That’s when you have the same family but not the same face."
The findings from a four—year, federally funded, largest—ever adoption study showed positive family dynamics across all types of adoptions whether transracial or same—race. Overall the children adopted from Asia have the most positive results in a very positive picture.[3]

Adoption in the contemporary context reflects very little of its history in American culture or in its ancient past. Today, adoption is a legal transfer of parental rights and duties. It is governed by laws that protect the child, first and foremost, and then the biological mother and adoptive parents. It is so thoroughly bureaucratized it is easy to assume that adoption is a product of the 20th Century. The history of adoption, however, begins much earlier.

One of the first written accounts dates back 4000 years to the Code of Hammurabi. The Egyptians, Greeks and Romans also recognized and legalized adoption. For instance, to ensure the continuation of his power, Julius Caesar adopted his nephew Octavian, who was later known as Caesar Augustus.

The primary interest in earlier societies was to secure the continuation of power rather than the best interests of the child. Consistent with their belief that children were property, Greeks and Romans treated children as secondary parties to the adoption contract.

The Bible provides the first view of adoption as a covenant rather than a contract. Ancient Hebrews believed that contracts governed the exchange of property but that the formation of personal relationships was by a covenant, a sacred promise that was the foundation of kinship and family.

The story of Moses in the Old Testament is a classic account of the adoption covenant. When his mother feared that Moses would be killed, she placed him in a reed basket on the Nile River. He was found by the
Pharaoh’s daughter who rescued him and, the Bible says, Moses "became her son." Moses’ life and well—being were secured by the sacrifice of two women: his mother and Pharaoh’s daughter. Their adoption covenant was a promise which ensured that Moses’ life would be spared and nurtured.[4]

Because of misconceptions about adoption, many more girls and women today are either aborting their babies or raising them as single parents. Adoption is rarely presented as an option. Yet society does itself and these young women no favor when the option of adoption is not offered and encouraged.

Adoption serves all four parties well — the child, the biological mother, the adopting parents and society — because the evidence is overwhelming as to the negative effects experienced by single mothers and their children.

Unmarried mothers who keep their children, when compared to those who place them for adoption, are more likely:

• to have serious employment problems;

• to require public assistance;

• to live in poverty;

• to have children with health problems;

• to have children with serious behavior problems;

• to have infants who die from injuries;

• to repeat an out-of-wedlock pregnancy;

• to have children who have out-of-wedlock pregnancies;

• to be school dropouts;

• to remain unmarried.[5]

By way of contrast, unmarried mothers who make an adoption plan for their children are more likely:

• to finish school;

• to obtain a higher education;

• to escape living in poverty;

• to not require public assistance;

• to delay marriage longer;

• to marry eventually;

• to be employed 12 months after the birth;

• to avoid a second out-of—wedlock pregnancy.

Outcomes for those who choose adoption are often similar to those cited by women who choose abortion.

• Each can pursue earlier goals and plans.

• Each can live independently.

• Each will not have to parent prematurely.

• Each will be free of the financial burdens of parenting.

• Each will avoid being forced into a hasty marriage.

• If young, each can resume their youthful lifestyle.

Teenagers, in particulars who bear and keep children outside of marriage are statistically more likely to remain uneducated, unemployed and underprivileged. When compared with the general populations children placed with adoptive couples, rather than remaining with unmarried young mothers, fare much better economically and have more stable lives.[6]

Language has played a negative role in the adoption discussion. It is difficult for a young woman to see it as a positive solu-tion when terms are used such as "giving up" or "giving away" her child. In adoption what a mother "gives up" are parenting responsibilities which she is unable to provide her child.

 That, is not to ignore the physical or emotional pain involved in entrusting a child to an adopting couple. On the contrary, it means that the biological mother will be assuming immediate pain in order to spare her child the greater pain that lies ahead. Adoption is looking after the interests of the child first, with specialized sensitive counseling to help the hurting mother.

It is a myth that adopted children do not do as well in life as children living with a biological parent. A real parent is one who provides unconditional love while raising arid nurturing a child as he or she- learns to become a functioning, productive member of society. A recent study of 700 teenagers who had been adopted as infants found them to be every bit as well adjusted, socially skilled and-intellectually able as their non-adopted peers.[7]

Children adopted at a later age, after years in foster care, appear to have more behavioral and emotional problems and to have experienced more physical abuse. Elizabeth Bartholet of of Harvard University, an adoption law expert says, "It’s abuse that hurts kids, not adoption."

Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana tells of her husband’s adoption from an orphanage in Ireland when he was five. He had a brother whom he recently met who was not adopted into a family. They are now both in their fifties. The Senator’s husband is confident, successful and fulfilled. His brother is none of those and continues to be adrift. Is that just a coincidence?

Adoption is part of my own family history. My father was born into an extremely poor immigrant family with an alcoholic father. Upon his mother’s death, he and his sibling were placed in an orphanage. After a short time he was adopted and enjoyed not only a long career as a high official in the New York City Police Department but a happy 65—year long marriage. His non adopted brother became a many-times-divorced bartender. Is that just a coincidence?

Adoption is currently playing a part in my daughter’s family. After having four biological children, she and her husband adopted an 18 month old little girl from Taiwan with severe facial/cranial disfigurements. A few years later, they adopted an 11 month old little girl from Korea who was born without a right arm. Those who think it is harder to love an adopted child than a biological child couldn’t be more wrong. I know that first hand as the grandmother of those two adopted little girls. Others know it, too.

When a young woman named Mary gave birth to her first child, her husband was on military duty so she spent the weeks after the child’s birth at her parents’ home. One day, Mary mentioned to her mother that she was surprised that her baby’s hair was reddish when both she and her husband were blond. "Well, remember," said her mother, "that your dad’s hair is red." "But, Mom," said Mary, "that wouldn’t make any difference because I’m adopted." With a surprised smile her mother said, "I always forget."

Finding oneself with an unexpected, unwanted pregnancy, especially if a woman is young or single, can be one of the most difficult moments she will ever face. Because abortion represents a relatively swift arid supposedly "simple" resolution to an unplanned pregnancy, carrying a baby through birth and completing an adoption plan stands as an act of extraordinary courage and love. Perhaps no other gesture expresses motherhood in its most purely loving form.

The miracle of adoption is about the pain, resolution, and growth that comes when adoptive couples accept their infertility and face their fears about adoption and when a young girl and her family or a single woman face the issues of an untimely pregnancy. Adoption can be an enormously unselfish gift to a baby not only as a way to give a child a secure, loving, stable family but to give that child the most precious gift of all life.

Adoption isn’t easy. It is one of the most complex emotional arrangements in which an individual can be involved. Yet, of the other options aborting the child or raising the child as a single parent adoption is the most child—centered. It is a healthy, realistic and sensible choice for all the parties involved.

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